Oofda! I got some great feedback from my CPs, Ellen and Sean, and rolled with it. I tried to find ways to add to the Trickster so that readers would have a sense of empathy while trying to preserve the voice of the Trickster (and stay at 500 words...I'm challenging myself!) I also tried to cut back on repetitive word usage--I sure Liked using the word "here." I didn't take all aspects of feedback, but certainly weighed each person's comments on how to improve my story. I hope I achieved that....
NOWHERE
Stars freckled Night’s sky. At least this imprisonment forced me out of the hustle of human cities that competed against those twinkling marks on his face. I couldn’t tell Night how much I enjoyed this view. How it brought peace in this solitude. He’d never let it go, or he’d blush. Tempting.
Surprisingly, this was my first time relegated to Nowhere. A special kind of hell for those of us not from the human realm. The Orchestrator dropped me—literally—from the sky into this wasteland. All that’s here is sand, sky, and a decrepit fishing boat with a sun-bleached, splintered wood deck. On the first day, I walked hours from the boat, but every time I looked over my shoulder, there it was. There was no end in Nowhere, only a beginning. A stagnant place frozen in time.
Getting tossed into this void wasn’t my plan. But it was worth it. My crime? I brought two humans to the Other Space. The crossroads between realms where magical, fantastical, and bizarre beings came together. There were two rules in OS: keep your petty fights in your realm and no humans. Their feeble, non-magically inclined minds weren’t capable of comprehending magic as something more than fiction or myth, or some shit reason like that. But why couldn’t the magically muted humans get a chance to see true whimsy? Why did the Orchestrator get to decide that? So I brought them over. No big deal. Besides, most beings who visited OS were pretty chill. Not the conductors though. They were the right hands to the Orchestrator, the one being who sees all realms at all times and the one who doles out punishments to individuals like me. Narcs.
Anyway, when the Orchestrator transported me here, they’d said, “Trickster, freedom comes like the ocean.”
I had no idea what kind of bullshit poetry that was, but this morning I heard the first sound in this shithole that wasn’t my voice or the clack of my deck of beholder cards in three hundred days. Bubbling water.
I pulled out my deck, which the Orchestrator was kind enough not to confiscate, and shuffled. The cardboard corners snapped together in a soothing alternating weave. “Where to jump to once I sail out of here, it’s not like I’ve a realm of my own. Thoughts, Night?” I mused knowing he wouldn’t answer. Could he even hear me from Nowhere?
The blank cards clicked with each bridging. Olympus didn’t much like me, nor did Haevan’s Worth. Who was I to know they didn’t appreciate my talents for shifting. It was all in good fun, I swear.
I let the bridge fall. “Azedamon. That’s where I’ll go. I haven’t been a dragon in ages.”
I drew the top card as the realm of dragons and wyverns bled onto its face. Now to decide the specific place I’d jump to. My finger rested on the next card as a smile worked across my face, “I’ll be waiting for you freedom.”
Afterthoughts
I hope you enjoyed this further polished version of NOWHERE–did you notice any changes from last week’s post or the original draft? It’s off to Carly the Amazing for next week’s editor’s feedback. I’m definitely nervouscited for what Carly will have to say!
Thanks for stopping by, and remember, follow the adventure.
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